dear project boss person please respond to your emails so i know what city i’m going to be in monday and also so i can sign up for this volunteer project asdfl;kajsdflkj

so apparently it’s been driving people i work with nuts that i crack my knuckles all the time because they’re really loud so i’m trying to stop but sometimes they crack on their own just when i’m like picking stuff up and it happened in a meeting today and i got three death glares and i was like I’M SORRY IT JUST HAPPENS I SWEAR and no one believed me and :(

the number of times i’ve locked myself out of my work account by trying to log into the VPN and forgetting that the domain login on mobile uses \ instead of / is actually embarrassing and the tech guys i have to call know me by the sound of my voice and are like “you tried logging into the mobile network again didn’t you you magnificent fuckass” YES I DID JASON THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME OF MY INCOMPETENCE NOW PLEASE UNLOCK MY ACCOUNT D:


if you’re ever trying to get to know a person on a date or whatever, find out when they like to get to the airport. i guarantee it speaks volumes about them. some people know they have a flight at eleven and go, “should i go get breakfast beforehand? i have my boarding pass on my phone, right?” others are like, “i have a car coming to get me at 4:30. i don’t know how long it’ll take to check in and walk down two hallways, better give myself six hours. what? dinner the night before? i can’t. i’m in a whole other mindset right now. i have two hard copies of my boarding pass, i emailed it to myself, i have it on my phone, it’s also tattooed to my chest.”


if i was a better person i would be working right now but wow shocking i’m not time for another drink

going into outlook to email a bunch of spreadsheets to someone and realizing that of the seventy drillion work people in your contacts, you are the only one on this continent still logged in and working

there are worse places to stay…

there are worse places to stay…

I’ve named him Luigi and we’re totally cross-street office buddies.

I’ve named him Luigi and we’re totally cross-street office buddies.

okay so thirteen hours of work later i’m gonna tumblr for a bit and shower and then

do three more hours of work


i really need to learn to be less of a dick to people who make clueless assumptions about what’s happening in my headphones


Female relationships on television are allowed to fit into three boxes: best friends, enemies, family. Orphan Black sees the boxes, acknowledges them, and smashes them at every turn.

yesterday at work one of the other dudes in the bullpen didn’t have anything to do cos his project was on hold whatever whatever anyways i get up to go get something from the printer nad walk by and he’s got his headphones in and is watching the first episode of this season and i was like yes and left my music off for the next twenty minutes so i could hear it when he was like HOLY SHIT and slapped a hand over his mouth when helena showed up
 and then i popped up over at his desk and was like DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE COMING, DID YA like the little shit that i am

it was the highlight of my life

dear boss it is too hot to hike around downtown please let me stay home and sleep in my refrigerator thank you goodbye

something in the office smells like fresh brownies

i just went on a quest to find them but there aren’t any

i’m going to cry because the universe is cruel

today i played the word squib in words with friends and got sixty points and i’m never going to accomplish anything greater in my life thank you good night and good luck